Chip Kelly
2016 Resolution - Do anything and everything to get yourself in the driver seat of that new model Tennessee Titans franchise. They are looking for a head coach and you are looking for a head coaching position. By the way, your famed Heisman winning recruit is there and can run your offense like a G. I might be the only person in America that still believes in you as an NFL coach. But, as the guy who is the final say on personnel decisions? Yeah, no. I am less confident in your ability to sign and draft players for both sides of the ball. Lay out a game plan for your GM, let him know your needs and your wants, then let him go out and do the work for you. It’s worth it to you to reach out to them, let them know you are interested.
Cam Newton
2016 Resolution - Keep doing you, big man. It’s going to be
a shame if you are not awarded the MVP this season. Your play on the field has
been a step above every single player I can think of. The Panthers have the
best record in all of the land, you are playing outside your mind, and your
defense is once again dominating. Without even trying hard you have become the
franchise QB people questioned you could become on draft day. Never once has
your character come into question, your philanthropy is off the charts, and
your teammates can’t stop raving about you. You are a great role model for kids
and young athletes everywhere and I hope you keep this up. Cheers to you!
LeBron James
2016 Resolution– Championship or bust. Yes, you have 2 rings
and 4 MVP’s, but dude, if you don’t bring a championship to Cleveland this
year, oh man oh man. You ran into a buzz saw Golden State team in the finals,
without Kevin Love, then lost Kyrie Irving in game one; your performance was
one of the best ever, but you needed more help. You are the best player in the
game, time to flex in the playoffs and win a ring for your city. You arrived
the savior, departed the villain, and then returned as the chosen one. You
might run into another buzz saw with the Spurs being reloaded and looking like
a force, Kawhi Leonard is looking like the MVP of the league, but you are
destined to win it. Take it home.
Steph Curry
2016 Resolution – Ride the wave. The apple of Adam Silver’s eye. Steph, your resolution is to make 1st team all defense. Everyone knows you can shoot the rock from anywhere on the court and that your offensive stats are off the charts. Why not shock the world and step your game up on the defensive end? Be the two-way player that is your team’s identity. You have the ability and quickness to shut down the opposing team’s PG. The league, and the world, would be put on notice if you became a force on the other end of the court, which would be quite the sight to see.
Barry Bonds
2016 Resolution – prove your hitting acumen to the baseball
world. Your recent hire as a hitting instructor for the Miami Marlins is a big
hire for baseball. You are, and probably always will be, a villain to the game
outside of the Bay area. Lest they all forget you were an MVP long before the
homeruns became your signature. The ability you had to know the strike zone,
waiting for your exact pitch wasn’t something the steroids helped you do. That
eye was there long before the accusations started flying around you. I am
looking forward to seeing your work with Giancarlo Stanton alone. He is already
an amazing talent, but what you could add to his swing to improve his average
and on base percentage has potential to elevate him to god status.
Troy Tulowitzki
2016 Resolution – Give some consideration on changing positions. The Blue Jays have the reigning AL MVP currently occupying 3rd base, but you need to start thinking about the switch. You have been a dominate force at shortstop for your entire career, being the best, manning the middle of the infield. A true two-way player who is near the top of his position on both sides of ball, you might be wondering why I say that you should start your transition. You have a history of lingering leg issues that seem to always creep into your season. You now play on the turf in Toronto, and you don’t want to stay in Toronto. Moving over to 3rd base allows you to still showcase your defensive ability, offensive power, and makes you a trade target to a team that may be looking for some pop out of the hot corner. I’m not saying make the move this year, but start taking some BP over there, see how it feels.
2015 was a great year for the sports fan. We had everything we yearn for: competition, fights, winning, losing, heartbreak, and joy and most titillating, a glimpse of everything we have to look forward to getting out of sports in 2016!
